Black Beauty

    Many have attempted to classify human beings into different categories. This is done to help us understand others, however, in doing so I feel that there could be one detail that isn't factored into the great quilt that are homo sapiens. Nonetheless, we still do. The other day I was thinking about the different views on beauty. If you go on any social network you will likely find quotes by Marilyn Monroe and Betty Page of current and historical sex icons.

    The uniqueness of beauty, its funny how we all have different forms or concepts of what beauty is. Is it an internal or external beauty? Yes.  Extrinsic or Intrinsic? Yes. Is it the kind of beauty that stops you in your tracks just looking at it because it is captivating. Or is it the kind that requires you to sit down and spend time with that objective (insert person/place/thing) to find that hidden allure.....


     It is now 2015! I know people. I know. What the hell took over a year for me to finish this entry.....life MF's life. I grew, I shrank and now I'm growing some more. I mean that all in a metaphorical and philosophical sense. Or do I?

    Ha............cricket noises.................I'm going to drift away from the topic and come back to it. I swear.

LOL...........................................FML

     It should seem that fate has a funny way of handling me. Just when I complain of stagnation and emotions of repression I was thrown a curve ball on fire. Guess what I did? Because I'm a bit of a pyro and I like shiny things I thought "Oh, I'll hold onto this it'll burn out eventually." Wrong. Oh so very fucking wrong. Even though I threw water and removed oxygen from the flame damn thing would reignite causing me to be burned repeatedly. I will explain more of the actual situation in due time lovelies.

     So what did I learn? I'm not entirely sure yet because I'm still trying to get my thoughts about all of that mess together which takes time. What I know for sure though is the following:

1) Never let another person define who or what you should be.

2) Be yourself. In all your quirky, uncomfortable and intriguing ways. 

3) Don't take any bullshit from people who don't really love you.

4) Don't be a pawn. Fuck that don't hate the player hate the game bullshit. (I'm totally doing  mental fuck you's to a couple of people right now.)

5) Always be a good person, be honest and be kind. However, don't be a pushover. 

6) If you have a voice/thought/emotion to express then do so. 

7) Abuse in any form is NOT tolerated. 

8) Be a person of your word and mean it. 

9) Keep the people that love you close and never ever in a million years let them go. They will help you maintain your spark. 

10) Have some motherfucking courage and bravery. 

    With that stated I'll be honest with you. I went through a lot emotionally, physically and mentally to actively learn those things. Truth be told, it is easy to have someone tell you something but living it is the real lesson. I learned to accept me, myself and I for who and what the fuck I am and am not.  Beauty is expressed in every way possible because you have the divine right to reject something if you don't appreciate its value. Aesthetic or not. That is okay. SO....
 

BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER.

                   Please try to contain your amazement till I'm done spitting out BS.

You are probably now thinking "I just wasted minutes of my life reading this fucking blog from a 20-something-year-old female ranting about her life and I really don't give a fuck about what she has to say or rant about." That is cool Bro. By all means leave your comments below because....

You are welcome. 

And I'm out. Till later hoes and bros. 
-M-

The Difference

        It has recently come to my attention that I am the only grandchild from my maternal line that has yet to be married or have children. That kind of leaves me in awe and with the question of "How did that happen?". Not to assume that I haven't had a decent set of suitors but, I've just never decided "Yep, this is the one, no ands, ifs or buts about it. Let's do it all."

      While reading for my History on American Law class I stumbled upon an excerpt that stopped me. The author Lawrence M. Friedman, while speaking of the importance of groups and their effect on American legislation and the economy, said "A group or association has two aspects: It defines some people in, and it defines some people out. People joined groups not simply for mutual help, but to exclude, to define an enemy, to make common cause against outsiders." (Friedman, p. 254-255)

    So when did it happen? My exclusion from this insanely involved lifestyle.

My answer to that: "Does it even matter? And of course it doesn't!"

 

     

  There are some females out there who live by a somewhat structured time line. Granted there are those who don't and there are many variations, but few (so few!) go out there and become boss ladies. My opinion of being a "Boss lady" is the likes of Oprah, Sheryl Sandberg and other powerful women in the business industry, political fronts, education, health, advocacy & non-profits, media, the list can go on, and on.

 

    So today girls, ladies, women! Go get it! Get it all! And DO NOT allow yourselves to be limited by the likes, or views, words, what have you another individual. And with that I will leave you with the words of Beyoncé from her track Flawless.

 

https://soundcloud.com/hhh2610/beyonc-beyonc-flawless

 

 

 

                             Because you had better believe it gorgeous. You are FLAWLESS.

 

 

 



 



        

Invictus

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley



 

 

 

 

 

 



Flow and Source

     Recently it has come to my attention that I lack daily wonder and enthusiasm. Gone are the days when I would sit in a classroom and feel empowered, intrigued and in the zone. Gone are days past when I would engage students, teachers and professors to look for something else to question and ponder. My mind has become stagnant, there are no more ripples in this sea of knowledge.

                                                        Yet...............................

      My mind is still hungry. This boredom that has enslaved so many into the mundane day to day tasks is lethal. It began as a sedative to distract me from what was really buried deep in my emotional cortex and has become a prison. As of late I find myself thinking about life paths or journey's if you will. I like to think of things in dualities, mostly because when there are more scenarios present everything gets a little messy, I can choose to be one person or another. Behave, think, etc. a certain way to be a certain person to obtain certain responses/results. Then I remember that I am not just one thing but everything. Just as I am capable of being happy I am capable of being sad, and all other emotions and things.

                            My bounds are limitless.

                                                  Yet, why have I restricted myself?
                                                                
                                                                 Because. Of. Fear.

  Fear of not being what others have expected. What I have expected. Just until recently I saw that I have become what I feared. I created for myself a set of boundaries and restrictive schedules. I bound myself to an individual for too long for fear of being alone and out of need for someone or something; when all along all I needed was myself. I needed to jump out of my repressive box of emotions and decided to change. Like the passing of a northern wind my awareness awakened again. I have remembered how much I love creating things. Dancing so much that I can feel the sweat cooling my body and listening to music not just to listen but to truly connect with another's work. I miss playing music and painting. It was my flow and I am slowly getting it back. It doesn't have to be financially beneficial but it brings me happiness. And from that happiness I hope that my love for education and knowledge will resurface.

 

For to be an intellectual without that special drive and constant hunger is burdensome. I want to inspire and be inspired by others. This reawakening is not owed to one person, place or thing but to many; to the young man in Sierra Leon who made a radio and radio station out of scraps from the garbage, to Yann Dall'Aglio for offering a differing point of view,  to the works of photographers on CNN who wish to tell the stories of others.

 

      Thank you. Your courage to go out there and be something different has reminded me that I too am different. The use of the word different isn't meant in the obvious sense but with an emphasis on uniqueness. Whether or not we are all here for a specific purpose I intend to make a mark in this world. To bring forward a change that has always been there and not seen or accepted. To make things better if even for a small few. (But I prefer a larger outcome.)

 

 

    So I'll just have to see where this unexpected journey takes me. I look forward to it.

 

 

MRR