Still I Rise

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.
...
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
-Maya Angelou 1928-2014

Brain Food

Below are listed some quotes that I've come across that have either struck an emotional chord in myself or are simply something to think about. All commentary is welcomed.


“By referring to previous struggles and using them as reasons for not getting on with your life today, you’re assigning responsibility to the past for why you can’t be successful or happy in the present.” ~ Wayne Dyer

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” ~ Mother Teresa

There are so many wonderful things hidden inside each and every one of us but we don't know it. We aren't aware of all the treasures that are inside of us waiting to be discovered. And many of us will never know it simply because we spend too much time in our minds and very little time in our hearts.                                      ~Luminita, The Purpose Fairy

The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well. 

~ Elizabeth Kubler - Ross

 

Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.

~ Carl G. Gustav

“I am grateful to have been loved and to be loved now and to be able to love, because that liberates. Love liberates. It doesn’t just hold—that’s ego. Love liberates. It doesn’t bind. Love says, ‘I love you. I love you if you’re in China. I love you if you’re across town. I love you if you’re in Harlem. I love you. I would like to be near you. I’d like to have your arms around me. I’d like to hear your voice in my ear. But that’s not possible now, so I love you. Go.’” ~ Dr. Maya Angelou 

When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
                                          ~Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake.” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

 

 

Life will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.

~Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth

 

 

A man who in unconscious of himself acts in a blind, instinctive way and is in addition fooled by all the illusions that arise when he sees everything that he is not conscious of in himself coming to meet him from outside as projections upon his neighbor.

~ Carl G. Jung, The Philosophical Tree

 







 

If you do follow your bliss you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. Follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.  ~Joseph Campbell

 

“Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something. They’re trying to find someone who’s going to make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.” ~ Anthony Robbins

 

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

Little Hiccups

Today is going to be one of those embarrassingly raw posts. It just might be of the type where you'll be able to hear my voice as you read my words, or perhaps not. I would like for my words to resonate somewhere in that beautiful head of yours. What I really mean is that I hope some of this shit I'm about to say really fucking sticks.

 Yes. I do curse/swear/have full knowledge of the vulgarity I am displaying on this blog. If you don't like it get the fuck out.

I'm a person with emotions and feelings. Perhaps too much and too often have I put them out there on display to receive the criticisms and harsh words of others. Then again what is too much? And why limit my ability to share with a   insert person/place/thing .  My response to that is............because it hurts. It hurts to be used, let down and to get your hopes up soooo inexplicably high just to watch them come crashing down. That level of hurt doesn't just go away from one day to the next and if it does it will surface later. For when that tempest arrives it will break you down harder than a ton of bricks falling from the sky.

I've found myself wondering...."When do I begin to care again? With that same level of rigor and freedom?"

A part of me just wants to automatically respond, "Just let it go. Release it all and be content in knowing that everything has worked out as it should." On the other hand I say to myself "Well shit, that ended up pretty fucked up. So now what?" Do I continue on being jaded and knowing that I will continue to be disappointed and that most people have become too predictable?

I really dislike not having the answer and as with most things I went out to find an answer. Luckily for me I was cleaning out the outbox  of my personal email and stumbled along The PurposeFairy site. Now I don't know about you guys but I just read her stuff and I feel better. Everything feels like it makes sense again and the walls that I've built around myself aren't necessary. I can breath again and continue on.

So after my recent little fall I've decided to embark on a 21 Day Happiness Challenge, in an attempt to bring myself up again from whatever pit I was stewing in. Hopefully it works and sticks. I'll keep you lovelies updated.

And to all my lovely little meanies.....I love you. I sincerely do from the bottom of my tar heart.

You are doing it WRONG

        Four little words that NO ONE likes to hear but a strong majority express everyday. There should be signs up everywhere with the truth on them "Negativity! Spread it around to make yourself feel better!" That is what people do. Hell, I used to do it and you know what I realized? It's bullshit. Complete and undeniable bullshit. I ask myself "When did shit get so twisted?" As in when did it become okay to belittle others to bring ourselves up. Its origin I cannot pin point or even begin to fathom. On an assumption I would have to say that since man has existed, maybe. Then that would lead me to think that some people are just innately bad and mean. Then if that is the case who do you learn to trust? Do you have to worry about factions developing which end up taking over and you end up not belonging?

           Yes that is the kind of crap I think about people. And I'm getting tired of that singular concept running through my mind.

      I'm sure you all know what it is like to be criticized for being different from the group norm. What few people actually practice and believe is that it is okay to be different. Next time you are at the grocery store, mall or evening in your car and you see someone next to/near you doing something weird, smile. And realize that you are witnessing and experiencing what it is to be humane. Instead look at them smile and remind yourself that they are feeling, breathing animals with a conscience that has the ability to affect others. So don't be a fucking prick.

       Ladies! Gentlemen! Women who don't like being called ladies! Men who think being gentlemanly is overrated!
   
                                                            Be. Nice. To. Each. Other.
 
     And not the superficial put a fake smile on, and act nice. I mean be genuinely kind. Just the way people don't know everything single thing about you, you don't know every single thing about them. Therefore, if you judge them, and chastise them mentally, before getting to know them you are really hindering yourself.
 

             There is always something to learn from each other. So make it happen.

                                                                                 -Mariza R. Reyes -

           Yes, you have just witnessed the creation of a personal quote. You are welcome.

    Winding down:

           What I am trying to say is that we are all different. I am no better than you and you are no better than me. That is the truth. Yes I may have more material wealth but at the end when we are gasping for our last breath, we are equal. Although, what we may have down while living will continue to have a lasting effect on the surviving you and I will be done. Our existence will be over and there is no promise of an after life; so appreciate all the wonderful different people that will come into your life and give you something to make you better. 

Black Beauty

    Many have attempted to classify human beings into different categories. This is done to help us understand others, however, in doing so I feel that there could be one detail that isn't factored into the great quilt that are homo sapiens. Nonetheless, we still do. The other day I was thinking about the different views on beauty. If you go on any social network you will likely find quotes by Marilyn Monroe and Betty Page of current and historical sex icons.

    The uniqueness of beauty, its funny how we all have different forms or concepts of what beauty is. Is it an internal or external beauty? Yes.  Extrinsic or Intrinsic? Yes. Is it the kind of beauty that stops you in your tracks just looking at it because it is captivating. Or is it the kind that requires you to sit down and spend time with that objective (insert person/place/thing) to find that hidden allure.....


     It is now 2015! I know people. I know. What the hell took over a year for me to finish this entry.....life MF's life. I grew, I shrank and now I'm growing some more. I mean that all in a metaphorical and philosophical sense. Or do I?

    Ha............cricket noises.................I'm going to drift away from the topic and come back to it. I swear.

LOL...........................................FML

     It should seem that fate has a funny way of handling me. Just when I complain of stagnation and emotions of repression I was thrown a curve ball on fire. Guess what I did? Because I'm a bit of a pyro and I like shiny things I thought "Oh, I'll hold onto this it'll burn out eventually." Wrong. Oh so very fucking wrong. Even though I threw water and removed oxygen from the flame damn thing would reignite causing me to be burned repeatedly. I will explain more of the actual situation in due time lovelies.

     So what did I learn? I'm not entirely sure yet because I'm still trying to get my thoughts about all of that mess together which takes time. What I know for sure though is the following:

1) Never let another person define who or what you should be.

2) Be yourself. In all your quirky, uncomfortable and intriguing ways. 

3) Don't take any bullshit from people who don't really love you.

4) Don't be a pawn. Fuck that don't hate the player hate the game bullshit. (I'm totally doing  mental fuck you's to a couple of people right now.)

5) Always be a good person, be honest and be kind. However, don't be a pushover. 

6) If you have a voice/thought/emotion to express then do so. 

7) Abuse in any form is NOT tolerated. 

8) Be a person of your word and mean it. 

9) Keep the people that love you close and never ever in a million years let them go. They will help you maintain your spark. 

10) Have some motherfucking courage and bravery. 

    With that stated I'll be honest with you. I went through a lot emotionally, physically and mentally to actively learn those things. Truth be told, it is easy to have someone tell you something but living it is the real lesson. I learned to accept me, myself and I for who and what the fuck I am and am not.  Beauty is expressed in every way possible because you have the divine right to reject something if you don't appreciate its value. Aesthetic or not. That is okay. SO....
 

BEAUTY IS IN THE EYE OF THE BEHOLDER.

                   Please try to contain your amazement till I'm done spitting out BS.

You are probably now thinking "I just wasted minutes of my life reading this fucking blog from a 20-something-year-old female ranting about her life and I really don't give a fuck about what she has to say or rant about." That is cool Bro. By all means leave your comments below because....

You are welcome. 

And I'm out. Till later hoes and bros. 
-M-

The Difference

        It has recently come to my attention that I am the only grandchild from my maternal line that has yet to be married or have children. That kind of leaves me in awe and with the question of "How did that happen?". Not to assume that I haven't had a decent set of suitors but, I've just never decided "Yep, this is the one, no ands, ifs or buts about it. Let's do it all."

      While reading for my History on American Law class I stumbled upon an excerpt that stopped me. The author Lawrence M. Friedman, while speaking of the importance of groups and their effect on American legislation and the economy, said "A group or association has two aspects: It defines some people in, and it defines some people out. People joined groups not simply for mutual help, but to exclude, to define an enemy, to make common cause against outsiders." (Friedman, p. 254-255)

    So when did it happen? My exclusion from this insanely involved lifestyle.

My answer to that: "Does it even matter? And of course it doesn't!"

 

     

  There are some females out there who live by a somewhat structured time line. Granted there are those who don't and there are many variations, but few (so few!) go out there and become boss ladies. My opinion of being a "Boss lady" is the likes of Oprah, Sheryl Sandberg and other powerful women in the business industry, political fronts, education, health, advocacy & non-profits, media, the list can go on, and on.

 

    So today girls, ladies, women! Go get it! Get it all! And DO NOT allow yourselves to be limited by the likes, or views, words, what have you another individual. And with that I will leave you with the words of Beyoncé from her track Flawless.

 

https://soundcloud.com/hhh2610/beyonc-beyonc-flawless

 

 

 

                             Because you had better believe it gorgeous. You are FLAWLESS.

 

 

 



 



        

Invictus

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

William Ernest Henley



 

 

 

 

 

 



Flow and Source

     Recently it has come to my attention that I lack daily wonder and enthusiasm. Gone are the days when I would sit in a classroom and feel empowered, intrigued and in the zone. Gone are days past when I would engage students, teachers and professors to look for something else to question and ponder. My mind has become stagnant, there are no more ripples in this sea of knowledge.

                                                        Yet...............................

      My mind is still hungry. This boredom that has enslaved so many into the mundane day to day tasks is lethal. It began as a sedative to distract me from what was really buried deep in my emotional cortex and has become a prison. As of late I find myself thinking about life paths or journey's if you will. I like to think of things in dualities, mostly because when there are more scenarios present everything gets a little messy, I can choose to be one person or another. Behave, think, etc. a certain way to be a certain person to obtain certain responses/results. Then I remember that I am not just one thing but everything. Just as I am capable of being happy I am capable of being sad, and all other emotions and things.

                            My bounds are limitless.

                                                  Yet, why have I restricted myself?
                                                                
                                                                 Because. Of. Fear.

  Fear of not being what others have expected. What I have expected. Just until recently I saw that I have become what I feared. I created for myself a set of boundaries and restrictive schedules. I bound myself to an individual for too long for fear of being alone and out of need for someone or something; when all along all I needed was myself. I needed to jump out of my repressive box of emotions and decided to change. Like the passing of a northern wind my awareness awakened again. I have remembered how much I love creating things. Dancing so much that I can feel the sweat cooling my body and listening to music not just to listen but to truly connect with another's work. I miss playing music and painting. It was my flow and I am slowly getting it back. It doesn't have to be financially beneficial but it brings me happiness. And from that happiness I hope that my love for education and knowledge will resurface.

 

For to be an intellectual without that special drive and constant hunger is burdensome. I want to inspire and be inspired by others. This reawakening is not owed to one person, place or thing but to many; to the young man in Sierra Leon who made a radio and radio station out of scraps from the garbage, to Yann Dall'Aglio for offering a differing point of view,  to the works of photographers on CNN who wish to tell the stories of others.

 

      Thank you. Your courage to go out there and be something different has reminded me that I too am different. The use of the word different isn't meant in the obvious sense but with an emphasis on uniqueness. Whether or not we are all here for a specific purpose I intend to make a mark in this world. To bring forward a change that has always been there and not seen or accepted. To make things better if even for a small few. (But I prefer a larger outcome.)

 

 

    So I'll just have to see where this unexpected journey takes me. I look forward to it.

 

 

MRR